Art and Courageous

I made some progress in my She Art book.  I altered a large "romance novel" to make art.  It's cheaper than buying those art journals as craft stores.  Wanna see?

These were actually in an old art journal I've been working in for years.  I just decided to put them all in the same place, considering it's a She Art book and these are shes!

Here's more.

THIS is a house I'm actually making for an idea in Brave Girls' Club Soul Restoration class.  Melody talks about your house and how you need to clean it out and sometimes there are people in your house that need to be out of your house because they are harmful.  I am making a model of that idea.  Because I need to 'physically' be able to do that as well as conceptually.  

And it's in it's yard with a picket fence.  And  a street.  I'm still working on the stripes and I'm going to put something on the other side of the street, you'll see it.  I'm just waiting for the 'ah-ha' moments.  Those are the the best. They make the best ideas.

These are my ideas inspired by Julie Nutting.  She put out a book called Collage Culture.  Totally fun!

My family saw the movie Courageous yesterday.  It's an awesome movie about men standing up and being dads/fathers/leaders.  My husband is so inspired by it and the book Resolutions for Men, he's actually taking initiative in his life in the area of relationships.

I have this thought in my head, and I'm gonna make art out of it.  Just 2 words.  "Be intentional"  What that looks like right now, I don't know.  But it's in there and it will have a look all it's own when it is birthed.

2 more

I made these for some friends at church.  They don't know about these.  I hope they like it.

First Day of School

Today is the first day of school.  The girls are excited to get into their new books.  Year 2 of full time homeschooling!

It's been raining.  Our first rain of the summer.  I have the windows open.  mmmmmmm.

I did a painting last week for a friend who's son had brain surgery last month.  She requested it.  Which was good because I haven't painted anything for probably 2 months now.  This would be a painting I would consider for a boy.  I don't know if girls can paint guy stuff very well.  We have a curvy, cute aspect to just about everything we do.  I think it's because WE are curvy and cute!  And guys aren't.

I was surprised at how easy it was to sketch out.  It all just flowed. I was really glad because I didn't want this to be a hard thing.  Yay.

More paintings

This one my dad requested after I made one for my mom.  This is a 16 x 20.  It's the first guy one I've made.

This is another 16 x 20.  I'm not done with it yet.  I plan on putting words in the black area.  What do you think I should put in it?

You can see here some of the texture.  The flowers were made of moulding paste.  And 3 of the flowers have rhinestone brooches in the center.

Good News!

I have good news!  God has come through and broke through my troubles.  I don't fully understand it, but that's ok.

I learned that I have value.  VALUE.  I have a voice.  Thanks to several things that came my way and hit me all the same time (because God was making a point).  I saw the movie "The King's Speech".  Great movie.  Highly recommended.  The Soul Restoration "art" (really a collage) class teaching me about moving forward put on by The Brave Girls Club.  The new book coming out in September, Resolution for Women.   And Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest daily devotional.  All of them talk about going forward BY SHEER WILL.

Emotion has too much hype.  They are a tool, not something to base all perspective on.

I've also been transformed in the area of LIVING IN THE MOMENT.  It's all about being HERE, NOW.  When my children were little, I was angry a lot because I didn't want to be where I was.  I couldn't wait for them to grow up.  Now, 10 years later, I am still in that place.  What happened?  Why do I feel like this?  Why is it that I don't want to be here, in the present, with who i am currently with?  So what would I rather be doing, you say?  Watching movies, shopping, being on the internet.  Those are my escape.  But then when I come back to reality. I am more angry, frustrated, irritated.  Why?

There's a new movie coming out in September.  It's called Courageous.  It's by the same people who made Flywheel, Facing the Giants, and Fireproof.  (It's really good and another movie recommendation.)  It has  accompaniment books called Resolution for Men and Resolution for Women.  I read the sample first chapter and it's really good.  It talks about being content.  (The one for men has a totally different message.)  It hit me between the eyes and helped me see that I haven't been content.  I have been looking for other things to make me happy.  Two questions that the book asks are "What are you running from?  What are you running toward?"  I knew what I was running from (my current life) but I didn't know what I was running toward.  There was no definite answer; just some vague something out there in the distance that I couldn't grasp.

Knowing this caused me to really look at my world.  There is a reason I am where I am.  There is a reason God has me here in this house, with this family, with my church, etc.  What does He want?  What is my role?  I gotta tell you, it was sobering to see the answer.  SLOW DOWN AND BE HERE... NOW.

WOW.  What do you do with that?  My mind actually changed.  CHANGED. 

Now, I can't say I don't struggle with the old way.  There are times when I get really 'itchy' to do what my old nature did.  I am still 'working out my salvation'.  Great thing is, Oswald Chambers said what I needed to hear.  "When in struggle, say to yourself 'The Lord is my Helper'.  And He will help you."  Of course this is paraphrased, but it WORKS.  

The results of that were that I found the movies, needless shopping and hours on the internet were my escape from reality.  Knowing this in my core, not in my head, has calmed and centered me and now I choose when they happen.  Before, there was a strong pull to do them.  Now, when the pull happens, I center myself again by saying, and believing, "The Lord is my Helper".  And God ministers to me by focusing me on my current situation and He points out what I can do RIGHT NOW.

Today's My Utmost for His Highest says when God says 'I will give you rest' that doesn't mean that he's saying He will plump your pillow.  It means that in the current situation you are in, He is getting you out of bed-out of listlessness and exhaustion, out of your condition of being half dead, worn out.  He will give your spirit life, you will be sustained by the perfection of vital activity.  It also says that your will has to make the determination to deliberately commit everything in your life to Him.  See?  It's not about emotions.  It's about making a determination in your spirit and to walk it out.  DO IT.

Knowing all this and seeing the fruit of all that's happened in the last 3 weeks has really helped me.  It was not a quick, physical change.  It was rather slow.  I'm glad for that.  Chances are something quick would've caused me to question the depth of the change.  It took me at least a week to pick up responsibilities that belonged to me that I had dropped along the way.

I found that I have a place.  My responsibilities are MINE.  These are now labeled by ME.  Not by my mom (who taught me what my role is as a mom/wife/housewife during my growing up years).  Not by my husband (who is sooooooo patient).  Or by anyone else in my life.  If it doesn't come from the inside then it's not part of me, it's not my value.  I don't own this.  God showed me that I need to own this.  He taught me how to own this.

Unfortunately, I've been married 14 years and I'm just learning this.  All of this.  Fortunately, I LEARNED IT.  Praise God!  And I'm still learning this lesson.  Like I said, it's not a quick fix.  And you know what?

The Lord is My Helper.  :)

new beginnings/old endings

I've been going through a lot lately.  I'm still discovering what it is exactly.

I have grown up in a loving home.  I've been taught to love God and stuff. Very, very grounded.  Gravity is gravity is gravity, 1+1=2 kind of stuff.  Just recently (last 2 1/2 years) I've been going through a time of emotional "awareness".  An example: If I don't feel like cleaning my house, then there is a reason for it and I need to search it out and grow and change and only God can change me.  I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying that's what I've been going through.

So!  I've been miserable the past....um, I don't know, while.  More than a couple months.  I've been letting things slide.  And the more I let slide, the more other things slide.  For instance, I don't want to clean the house.  Then, I don't want to cook meals.  Then, I want to sleep a lot and be online all day.  Get the picture?  See the fruit?  I didn't say it was GOOD fruit.  I just said fruit.

Needless to say, on top of all that, I've been hating myself for going down this road.  Inside I'm not liking what I'm NOT doing, wishing things (me) would change.  BUT I'm still DOING these things, or for lack of a better word, NOT doing things I should.

Just these past couple of days everything's come to a head.  Many things I'm reading all point back to the basics.  DO.  Even if I don't want to do anything, I still have to.  Will/Spirit vs. Flesh/Heart

I am learning there will always be a battle.  Some battles are little some are big.  some last a short while, while others drag out over time.

Who am I at my core?  I am female.  What is my role?  to love God, love my husband, love my kids, love my church, love my job.  In that order.  How am I doing? ahhh. 
What is a female's role?  to take care of her home.  How am i doing?

See just because I don't feel like it doesn't mean I wait until I do feel like it.  Things would never get done.  What if my husband didn't feel like going to work?  What if my kids didn't feel like doing homework or obeying me?  What if I didn't have my quiet time with God in the mornings because I didn't feel like it?  What if we didn't take the trash out?  What if....?

I was raised "Do it, even if you don't feel like it."  Certain other things in my life have said "If you don't feel it, don't do it." And it's being taught to numerous people.  I'm not saying emotions are wrong.  But there is a line to draw.  I don't know where that is yet, but I'm sure going to find out.  Miracles happen somewhere in between these 2 ideas and I, for one, want to see them.

New inspiration

The thought came to me last week.  Lighthouses.  Saw a movie about a month ago with Richard Dreyfuss in it called "The Lightkeepers".  

I was thinking how that Jesus told us to shine in our dark world.   Lighthouses do that.  And HE is the Lighthouse KEEPER!  That was as far as I got besides thinking about the duties of the keeper.  Then I got to work.  Here's what I've made so far.

This is my first one.  I did it last week and already gave it to a friend.  Ironically, the night I gave it to her, our pastor was teaching about being light to the world.  I had to laugh at the timing.

This one was done 2 days ago.  My sister-in-law gave me a Cricut machine and this was the first word I did on it.