Last night I was at someone's house. We don't see each other enough to really know each other.
He asks me how I'm doing and I tell him that my day is the same day in and day out. (With a tone like 'I wish I had something to do'.) I tell him about my kids and that I'm currently taking an online class. I then proceed to tell him a little bit about what the class entails. How I struggled with whether I was supposed to take the class until I heard God tell me that I was supposed to take the class to benefit others.
I didn't get very far into the conversation before his attention had drifted (or was directly taken by someone else) to another topic. I saw the whole thing happen. I shut down.
A similar thing happened on Sunday. Someone asked me a question. I answered them. They did the "Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh" The kind that says I'm not really listening nor do I care. Again, I shut down..
WHAT? What are you saying that I'm not hearing? Am I boring you? Am I talking too much?
And then, I realize-- I do that too. Especially to my family. It's so easy to "uh-huh" your way through life. It's easy to not listen to people when you think the conversation isn't important TO YOU. But to the other person talking, It Is Their WORLD.
I hate that feeling I get when I know that the other person can't wait to get out of the conversation we, or rather I, are in. I feel inadequate, stupid, worthless, no-one-has-time-for-me.
So here it is: It has to start with me.