Monday, December 12, 2011

figuine

I painted the girl figurine last night.  She's turned out quite cute!


And here she is!

The yellow is actually glittery, but with the light and the camera shot, you can't really see it. 
Anyway.  It's my first shot at doing a paper mache figurine.  Ta-da!  
Not bad.  Not bad, at all.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Christmas presents

I bought some shoes at Payless and I made these.


I saw a tutorial here.  They were pretty easy to do.  I found the comics online, googling Mickey Mouse comics.

I also made glitter flats.  I will have to show them to you later.


Tuesday, December 6, 2011

She art figurine raw

She art figurine raw by LoveRenewed
She art figurine raw, a photo by LoveRenewed on Flickr.
I'm taking an online class called "She Art 2".  It's put on by Christy Tomlinson.  This is one of the things I am making from that class.  When it dries, I'm gonna paint it.  It's going in a Christmas gift basket.  I have to make 2 baskets for gift giving.  One will be art things and the other will be baked goods and homemade items that are usable.  

I'm also going to be making these for gifts...

and these...

But it won't be Superman and Batman.  Mickey Mouse or something more cutesy than superhero stuff.

Yay!!! So fun!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Pictures of Christmas things

Totally in the mood to create prettiness!  
I've been wanting to find Christmas-y stuff that's not really Christmassy. (Is that a word?)  To be able to turn it into really anything.

This is what I found...
These sparkly metal "trees" are at Target, or they were.  I can't find any more.  (pout)  I would love to be able to find another set.  The pinecones are from my neighbor's tree that's been dropping on our driveway.  The wine glasses are from the local thrift store (so many finds!) and in them are battery operated candles (from the dollar store).


This is a cupcake holder from World Market/Cost Plus.  My mom was looking for cupcake holders for my dad's 60th birthday bash back in June.  She bought 3 and I bought 1 because I think it's so darn cute!  I added granny smith apples, more pinecones from my neighbor's tree and pomegranates.  The table runner is from Target.  The white tablecloth is from my grandma, she found it at a garage sale.  The words on my dining room wall are from Uppercase Living (vinyl lettering), Michael's (wood letters) and Joann's (metal words).  The lazy susan is from IKEA.


This is an advent calendar thing I made in February or March, I think.  I made 4.  My mom bought them from me to give to my siblings.  This is called 3D peek a box and it comes with the numbers.  I bought the paper online.  I filled mine yesterday with candy and the kids get to open one each day!  So cute!

My husband pulled out the boxes full of Christmas stuff.  I realized we don't have much-4 boxes.  One for the tree including our stockings, one with all my nativity scenes (4, I think), one with random stuff that I place in our bathrooms.  The last box has my Willow Tree nativity pieces.  I have Mary and Joseph and the shepherd sets; both given to me as gifts.  (Nothing better than receiving Willow Tree figurines as gifts!)  I'm also going through the boxes to find what things I want to keep and things I think are totally hokey (and cheap ie Oriental Trading-ish) and shopping for something to take their places.  The above centerpieces are examples of what I've found so far.  (Big, content smiles.)

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The latest

So, this image has been in my head for a couple of days and I just had to get it out.  I love it.  I think it's so soft and gentle.  I'm not sure where it's going but I think it's going to be one of my new favorites.

So, what do you think?

Looking forward to Christmas this year.  Loving the smells.  Gonna bake Christmas goodies with Grandma, buy decorations for the house, put up lights, and we are hosting the family Christmas Eve party.

Very festive.

On my to do list:
Work on the project in the garage (I'm thinking of turning the headboard I found a couple days ago into a bench.)
Paint the office yellow.
Re-design my parents' kitchen.  (They just moved last weekend into a fixer-upper.)

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Today, in My Utmost for His Highest- written by Oswald Chambers in the early 1900's, I was reading about shallow things.  You know, eating, drinking, sleeping, talking, housework, homework, driving....  He said, "Even oceans (the deep) have shores (the shallow).


I can't help but think about my daughter.  She doesn't think before she talks.  It just all comes out.  I'm not saying that she bad-mouths people.  She just talks non-stop about everything and it's a long, run-on sentence.  I thought maybe she'd grow out of it, but she's 12 now and I'm beginning to think that this is going to stick around for a long while.


I would get so frustrated with her because I want to have conversations that are deep and meaningful while she wants to talk about the shapes of the clouds or how she's going to protect our animals from coyotes or other "off the top of her head" conversation.  I began to tune her out.  Now all I do is say "uh-huh" and keep doing what I'm doing and not listening at all.  That's just how it's progressed.


Today's devotional really hit me between the eyes because it's saying: 
"Beware of allowing yourself to think that the shallow concerns of life are not ordained of God; they are as much of God as the profound. It is not your devotion to God that makes you refuse to be shallow, but your wish to impress other people with the fact that you are not shallow, which is a sure sign that you are a spiritual prig. Be careful of the production of contempt in yourself, it always comes along this line, and causes you to go about as a walking rebuke to other people because they are more shallow than you are. Beware of posing as a profound person; God became a Baby."   


Ouch.  I asked God why I long for this "deepness".  He showed me when I was younger, before I was a teenager, I desired to be deeper because I thought my dad was deep and that the only way I'd get his attention was to be deep too.   I wanted to be proud of my wisdom.  And thus I have become.  BUT, I have contempt for others who are shallow.  And yet God became a baby.  He took the steps to come to the shallow and show them the profound, yet simple truth.  LOVE.  The real definition of LOVE.  not lust (which gratifies self).


I have given God that wound.  I want to be open to my shallow yet simple daughter.  I know there are others out there just like her.  I don't want to have contempt for people who won't (or rather can't) reach to my level.  It's totally ok.  BECAUSE  God told me that everyone has a different relationship with him.  We are not all the same.  Just like in a bouquet of flowers, you have the greenery, baby's breath, sunflowers and the lillies-just to name a few.  We are all part of a bouquet.  (I hope we smell delightful!)

Friday, November 18, 2011

Murmuration

This is absoulutely beautiful.  It's wonderful watching God's creation dance.

What stirs you?

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Expanding


I just moved my art bookcase, 2 days ago, to the very unused family room.  I did it while my husband was at our church's men's retreat.  I knew I could do it on my own (sort of).  How hard could it be taking all the stuff out, dragginng it about 20 feet and reorganizing it?  I was feeling pretty good.


Now. Now, my back hurts.  I'm walking around all stiff.  I put heat on it this afternoon.  My family thinks I'm sick.  I smile.  Lovin' the love. :)  Then I tell them that it's my back and then I hear "You're old!"  Quickly, the love leaves the room.  (Tears)


Ah well, it can't be helped.  At least I'm getting a bigger art room out of it.

Still working on making it mine.  I haven't come up with any decoration 'ah-ha' moments.  But they will come.  They always do.  :)

Friday, November 11, 2011

It's time?

Years ago, before we moved into this house, God told me we were going to move and gave me the timeframe in which it was going to happen.  Two days later, my husband had a dream, a very detailed dream, about a house we were going to move into.  I had not told him about what God had told me.

Everything about his dream was correct.  The yard, the roof-line, even the stuff going on in the house at the time.

We have forgotten the dream.  It's not something we dwell on.  Although there has been 1 element that has not happened yet.  Until just now.

Two boys dressed in military garb have just come to the door and asked my husband if the girls could play with them.  Just like in his dream.  My husband's response in his dream over 6 years ago was, "I'm sorry, my girls can't play war games."  My husband's response today?  The same exact words.

Does this mean we are done in this house?  Are we moving on soon?  I don't know.  I am ready to leave.  But the memories here....I think every woman cries over the home she's created and then has to leave it.

When I think about it, I can honestly say I can totally move on.  I am willing to redecorate to my pleasure.  I am willing to accept the challenge of fun and exciting new things.  I am willing to find new friends.  I am not attached to friends here in my neighborhood.  (It seems like no one wants to reach out here anyway.  I've tried!)

Some part still mourns for the years I've been here and have to leave. But, at the same time, this has never felt like home.  When we are gone for more than a week, the first thought when I see this house is "This isn't mine."  Honestly, it isn't.  It's a tool.  It always has been.  I just hope that we added to it and that the next person to get this house will fall in love with whatever character we've put into this place as well as add their own.

God bless the next house owners.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Finished

I finished the old antique furnace.  Rustoleum spray paint works wonders.  
What do you think?

I also saw something we don't normally see out here.
Parrots! on the telephone lines near my house!  There's a grouping of them that's around 300 birds.  They don't all flock together.  Generally, they like to hang out in groups of 3-15.  Every year they add more to their numbers.  They are loud, and ugly sounding.  They also love to eat the fruit off our trees.  I don't mind it when they get the fruit on the top of our trees 'cuz we can't get to them.   I don't know how big their migration trail is, but when I talk about it to people around my area, most of them seem to know about the parrots.  Who knew southern California had it's own wild parrots?

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Encouragement


I woke up this morning and just wanted to hide in bed.  Why?  I had to really ask myself.  I knew this old feeling.  It's similar to depression and it's best friend is self-pity.

I'm about to embark on a journey that I've sorta been on before-art business.

Two + years ago, I got involved in one of those businesses where you have to create your 'downline' and meet quotas.  It was stressful for me. My 'job' lasted a year and a half and I felt like a loser.  AND I used the family funds, thinking this would make money, and it didn't.  Thankfully, we were fine.
I'm just afraid it's gonna happen again.  I'm gonna stress out about all the things I have to do, things I have to know...

As I gave all this to God, I heard Him loud and clear, "you have to do this."  Peace came. He said it with the intent to help others, not for my benefit.  (Of course I benefit too:))
This is going to be hard because I'm walking out in courage in opposition to my fears.  (Big, scary world. Little tiny me.)

Way to go, Me!

Jesus, I need your help to battle the feelings of hiding/escaping thru sleeping, many hours of computer usage, rented/borrowed movies, etc.  Fill me with your love, peace, hope and joy to continue on to the calling you put in my heart: healing hearts thru art. Amen

Monday, October 31, 2011

Amazing Weekend

Saturday was October Fest at our old church.  We came home with so many goodies!  Come to find out, most of the stuff we brought home belonged to an old friend!  His wife's grandmother had an old room heater made by Fireside.  It's an old tin thing with a gas valve.  It's totally covered in rust, but I'm gonna fix it up and who knows, maybe turn it into art.


Then, Saturday night, I got to meet Christy Tomlinson!  She's awesome.  She and her husband are so laid back, and everyone is a friend.  I wish I could look at people that way.  Hey, I'm trying! Christy is one of those people you would want to have as a friend.  I love people who have that type of personality.

Church was awesome.  People were getting touched by God.  My husband asked for ministry from the pastor and God just touched him there.  Then we got in touch with a long lost friend.  My husband asked him if he had seen the movie "Courageous", he said 'no'.  So both guys went to go see the movie.  They talked for hours afterward.  It was good.  Male bonding time is always good.  It's good to see my husband hang out with other guys.
If you have not seen this movie yet, I highly encourage you to go see it.  It's about the calling of men to be husbands, fathers, leaders of their home and active participants in their church.  It's all done in a non-condemning way.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Sequoias Part 3

I really wanted to send this video out, but for some reason, my video player won't play the sound.  My husband found out it doesn't transfer online, so I'm gonna go ahead and post this.  I want you to see my fear of heights in action, verbally.  Don't worry, it's not bad or scary.  Looking back on it, it's a hoot!  I just laughed and laughed.  Sorry for all the rear end shots.  My hubby was taking the shots and he was in the back.
video
So, there WAS more!  We were only 1/2 way there.  Oh, the agony!  (^o^)  So "I was feeling it in my scaredness." I was even crawling and making vows of not doing this again.  But in the end, I had fun.  You can see how far down it is, based on the view going down.  But take what you saw there and add the same amount going up!  Then add the elevation level (7000 ft.)/lower oxygen levels and you got yourself a workout on a 400 step staircase.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Sequoia Pics part 2

There's a rock up in the Sequoias called Moro Rock.  Now days they have large rocks and a metal railing on the path to keep you safe, but it didn't used to be that way.  There was a guy in the late 1800's who, with the help of his step-sons, built a wooden staircase STRAIGHT UP the face of the rock!

This is the side view of the rock, from a road nearby.
This is another view from a road much closer to the rock.

The sun and the mountains in the distance were so....This view is from the bottom of the rock.

We had to climb 300-400ft in elevation.  At the top it's somewhere in the 7000 ft.  When you are that high already, you get short of breath very easily and have to take breaks.


 You can see at the top of this rock the white metal railing. Can you see any trees?  That's how high we are.  A forest video said something like, "Trees can't live above 7000ft"
These are to show you how steep the rock sides are.  We were constantly climbing the stairs.  
 View from the top!
 ...and my girls leaning over the railing!
This takes you all the way to the very point of the rock.
See the trees?  And these guys are tall!  

Here's the crazy part.  I have a fear of heights.  Shhhhh!  Actually, my family knows.  They witnessed my attitude and of course my husband video taped it.  It's hilarious, actually.  But here's what went through my head:  "I don't want to do this."  "This is a family thing."  "I have to conquer this."  "Other people have been up here and they are safe."  So, when I got to the top, I scooped up some dirt and said, "I did this!"  Now I gotta find a glass bottle to put it in.

The closer you get to the top, the narrower the walk-way.  At one point, I'm crawling on my hands and knees up the steps because #1 it was really steep and #2 we're REALLY HIGH!  It was torture for me, but as  5 year old Olivia from the Cosby Show says, "I'm still alive."

Monday, October 24, 2011

Sequoia Pics-part 1

We spent a week and a half at the Sequoias.  The weather was perfect and NOBODY'S there!  The skies were clear and BLUE and clean smelling.  The water was cold and drinkable (snow!) And the trees....  The trees are awe-some.  This one isn't event the largest.  It's just one you can climb in.  It had little 'caves' you can climb in and even sleep in!  Swiss-family-Robinson style.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Sequoias prequel

The Sequoias are so beautiful!  I will post later about our experience.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Cafe Music

Julie Nutting said she loves to create art when she listens to French music.  I have a Pandora account and I typed in French Cafe.  OH WOW!  It definitely opens up another avenue of art!  It reminds me of sitting at Starbucks with a friend and chatting.  I wish I knew how to make some of that yummy goodness so I can listen, smell, taste, touch and experience it ALL!!!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Brave Girls Club

I sent one of my pieces of art to www.bravegirlsclub.com and they posted it on their daily truths page today.  Wanna see?  Click here  It says "She chose to live outside others' opinions of her"

Camping

Going camping for a week and a half.  (Thank God for housesitters.)  Can't wait to get away from computers and phones and touch things that are real!  Pray that it stays warm.  My hubby says I'm miserable to be around when I'm cold.  (O, poo)

This butterfly is flying

It's been several months since God has really done a big change in me and it's still here.  Yay!  I am not afraid of people's opinions of me.  I am what I am.  Only God can change me, truly.  I can make new habits.  I can make New Year's Resolutions any time of the year and try so hard to "keep up the good work" but none of that really sticks.  (I know, I've tried.  It lasted a week.)  When God reveals to you the "lightbulb" moment, things CHANGE and they change permanently.  YAY!!!

Example:  When my pastor would ask how I'm doing (by the way he's about the same age I am).  I would tell him ALL the things that were going wrong in my life.  WHY?  It would drive me nuts that he had that "power" over me.  I asked myself that question.  Why do I respond this way?  Well, our culture has taught us that this man is closer to God than we are and we treat him as such.  We either tell him all the things good or ...bad.  I resulted to bad.  The reality is that we can have the same relationship with God that our pastors do.  God did everything he could to have communication with everyone.  He didn't do more for the pastors/priests than he did for us.  They don't have special privileges.  The only reason we feel this way is because we don't spend time in the Word.  We don't spend time with God.  It's guilt!  God showed me He LOVES me!

I have value.    I have value enough for Him to die on the cross for me!  When I searched my heart, I really felt that I wasn't worth enough for Him to even die for me.  My heart really believed that!  My head knew the truth, but my heart didn't agree with it.  That's where unworthiness comes from.  We have SOME kind of value.  Otherwise, God wouldn't spend time even THINKING about us.  But He does.  I am not scum.  You aren't either.

You know there are many things that our head agrees/disagrees on.  But our hearts differ; sometimes greatly! I had to do some soul searching to understand me.  I had to ask myself if I really believed certain things.  I had to allow myself to disagree with friends.  I had to search things out.  And now, I know ME!  Of course, I'm constantly changing, and growing.  :) finally....

Art Journaling, Dinner with Friends

I found a book at the library on art journaling.  For years I've been journaling on lined paper.  I just finished my journal so I went out and bought one without lines.  NO BOUNDARIES.  What will come out?  Hmmmm.  I'm thinking some colors, swirly lines of text, lots of faces, photos...

Having friends over for dinner is fun.  It's gets you to clean your house, for one.  And  you laugh more than you usually do around the family you're with all the time.  I had forgotten what fun it is to be with others.  We used to have people over weekly.  We call it home group.  It's kinda like "mid-week church".  But we got too big, around 30-35 people.  So we split up into 3 groups.  We'd hang out at other people's homes.  But there's something about having it at yours.  (You don't have to drive home and put kids to bed!)

Monday, October 3, 2011

Art and Courageous

I made some progress in my She Art book.  I altered a large "romance novel" to make art.  It's cheaper than buying those art journals as craft stores.  Wanna see?

These were actually in an old art journal I've been working in for years.  I just decided to put them all in the same place, considering it's a She Art book and these are shes!

Here's more.
THIS is a house I'm actually making for an idea in Brave Girls' Club Soul Restoration class.  Melody talks about your house and how you need to clean it out and sometimes there are people in your house that need to be out of your house because they are harmful.  I am making a model of that idea.  Because I need to 'physically' be able to do that as well as conceptually.  
And it's in it's yard with a picket fence.  And  a street.  I'm still working on the stripes and I'm going to put something on the other side of the street, you'll see it.  I'm just waiting for the 'ah-ha' moments.  Those are the the best. They make the best ideas.



These are my ideas inspired by Julie Nutting.  She put out a book called Collage Culture.  Totally fun!

My family saw the movie Courageous yesterday.  It's an awesome movie about men standing up and being dads/fathers/leaders.  My husband is so inspired by it and the book Resolutions for Men, he's actually taking initiative in his life in the area of relationships.

I have this thought in my head, and I'm gonna make art out of it.  Just 2 words.  "Be intentional"  What that looks like right now, I don't know.  But it's in there and it will have a look all it's own when it is birthed.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

2 more

I made these for some friends at church.  They don't know about these.  I hope they like it.



Tuesday, September 6, 2011

First Day of School

Today is the first day of school.  The girls are excited to get into their new books.  Year 2 of full time homeschooling!

It's been raining.  Our first rain of the summer.  I have the windows open.  mmmmmmm.

I did a painting last week for a friend who's son had brain surgery last month.  She requested it.  Which was good because I haven't painted anything for probably 2 months now.  This would be a painting I would consider for a boy.  I don't know if girls can paint guy stuff very well.  We have a curvy, cute aspect to just about everything we do.  I think it's because WE are curvy and cute!  And guys aren't.



I was surprised at how easy it was to sketch out.  It all just flowed. I was really glad because I didn't want this to be a hard thing.  Yay.


Saturday, June 11, 2011

More paintings



This one my dad requested after I made one for my mom.  This is a 16 x 20.  It's the first guy one I've made.


This is another 16 x 20.  I'm not done with it yet.  I plan on putting words in the black area.  What do you think I should put in it?

You can see here some of the texture.  The flowers were made of moulding paste.  And 3 of the flowers have rhinestone brooches in the center.

Good News!

I have good news!  God has come through and broke through my troubles.  I don't fully understand it, but that's ok.

I learned that I have value.  VALUE.  I have a voice.  Thanks to several things that came my way and hit me all the same time (because God was making a point).  I saw the movie "The King's Speech".  Great movie.  Highly recommended.  The Soul Restoration "art" (really a collage) class teaching me about moving forward put on by The Brave Girls Club.  The new book coming out in September, Resolution for Women.   And Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest daily devotional.  All of them talk about going forward BY SHEER WILL.

Emotion has too much hype.  They are a tool, not something to base all perspective on.

I've also been transformed in the area of LIVING IN THE MOMENT.  It's all about being HERE, NOW.  When my children were little, I was angry a lot because I didn't want to be where I was.  I couldn't wait for them to grow up.  Now, 10 years later, I am still in that place.  What happened?  Why do I feel like this?  Why is it that I don't want to be here, in the present, with who i am currently with?  So what would I rather be doing, you say?  Watching movies, shopping, being on the internet.  Those are my escape.  But then when I come back to reality. I am more angry, frustrated, irritated.  Why?

There's a new movie coming out in September.  It's called Courageous.  It's by the same people who made Flywheel, Facing the Giants, and Fireproof.  (It's really good and another movie recommendation.)  It has  accompaniment books called Resolution for Men and Resolution for Women.  I read the sample first chapter and it's really good.  It talks about being content.  (The one for men has a totally different message.)  It hit me between the eyes and helped me see that I haven't been content.  I have been looking for other things to make me happy.  Two questions that the book asks are "What are you running from?  What are you running toward?"  I knew what I was running from (my current life) but I didn't know what I was running toward.  There was no definite answer; just some vague something out there in the distance that I couldn't grasp.

Knowing this caused me to really look at my world.  There is a reason I am where I am.  There is a reason God has me here in this house, with this family, with my church, etc.  What does He want?  What is my role?  I gotta tell you, it was sobering to see the answer.  SLOW DOWN AND BE HERE... NOW.

WOW.  What do you do with that?  My mind actually changed.  CHANGED. 

Now, I can't say I don't struggle with the old way.  There are times when I get really 'itchy' to do what my old nature did.  I am still 'working out my salvation'.  Great thing is, Oswald Chambers said what I needed to hear.  "When in struggle, say to yourself 'The Lord is my Helper'.  And He will help you."  Of course this is paraphrased, but it WORKS.  

The results of that were that I found the movies, needless shopping and hours on the internet were my escape from reality.  Knowing this in my core, not in my head, has calmed and centered me and now I choose when they happen.  Before, there was a strong pull to do them.  Now, when the pull happens, I center myself again by saying, and believing, "The Lord is my Helper".  And God ministers to me by focusing me on my current situation and He points out what I can do RIGHT NOW.

Today's My Utmost for His Highest says when God says 'I will give you rest' that doesn't mean that he's saying He will plump your pillow.  It means that in the current situation you are in, He is getting you out of bed-out of listlessness and exhaustion, out of your condition of being half dead, worn out.  He will give your spirit life, you will be sustained by the perfection of vital activity.  It also says that your will has to make the determination to deliberately commit everything in your life to Him.  See?  It's not about emotions.  It's about making a determination in your spirit and to walk it out.  DO IT.

Knowing all this and seeing the fruit of all that's happened in the last 3 weeks has really helped me.  It was not a quick, physical change.  It was rather slow.  I'm glad for that.  Chances are something quick would've caused me to question the depth of the change.  It took me at least a week to pick up responsibilities that belonged to me that I had dropped along the way.

I found that I have a place.  My responsibilities are MINE.  These are now labeled by ME.  Not by my mom (who taught me what my role is as a mom/wife/housewife during my growing up years).  Not by my husband (who is sooooooo patient).  Or by anyone else in my life.  If it doesn't come from the inside then it's not part of me, it's not my value.  I don't own this.  God showed me that I need to own this.  He taught me how to own this.

Unfortunately, I've been married 14 years and I'm just learning this.  All of this.  Fortunately, I LEARNED IT.  Praise God!  And I'm still learning this lesson.  Like I said, it's not a quick fix.  And you know what?

The Lord is My Helper.  :)

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

new beginnings/old endings

I've been going through a lot lately.  I'm still discovering what it is exactly.

I have grown up in a loving home.  I've been taught to love God and stuff. Very, very grounded.  Gravity is gravity is gravity, 1+1=2 kind of stuff.  Just recently (last 2 1/2 years) I've been going through a time of emotional "awareness".  An example: If I don't feel like cleaning my house, then there is a reason for it and I need to search it out and grow and change and only God can change me.  I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying that's what I've been going through.

So!  I've been miserable the past....um, I don't know, while.  More than a couple months.  I've been letting things slide.  And the more I let slide, the more other things slide.  For instance, I don't want to clean the house.  Then, I don't want to cook meals.  Then, I want to sleep a lot and be online all day.  Get the picture?  See the fruit?  I didn't say it was GOOD fruit.  I just said fruit.

Needless to say, on top of all that, I've been hating myself for going down this road.  Inside I'm not liking what I'm NOT doing, wishing things (me) would change.  BUT I'm still DOING these things, or for lack of a better word, NOT doing things I should.

Just these past couple of days everything's come to a head.  Many things I'm reading all point back to the basics.  DO.  Even if I don't want to do anything, I still have to.  Will/Spirit vs. Flesh/Heart

I am learning there will always be a battle.  Some battles are little some are big.  some last a short while, while others drag out over time.

Who am I at my core?  I am female.  What is my role?  to love God, love my husband, love my kids, love my church, love my job.  In that order.  How am I doing? ahhh. 
What is a female's role?  to take care of her home.  How am i doing?

See just because I don't feel like it doesn't mean I wait until I do feel like it.  Things would never get done.  What if my husband didn't feel like going to work?  What if my kids didn't feel like doing homework or obeying me?  What if I didn't have my quiet time with God in the mornings because I didn't feel like it?  What if we didn't take the trash out?  What if....?

I was raised "Do it, even if you don't feel like it."  Certain other things in my life have said "If you don't feel it, don't do it." And it's being taught to numerous people.  I'm not saying emotions are wrong.  But there is a line to draw.  I don't know where that is yet, but I'm sure going to find out.  Miracles happen somewhere in between these 2 ideas and I, for one, want to see them.

Friday, May 6, 2011

New inspiration

The thought came to me last week.  Lighthouses.  Saw a movie about a month ago with Richard Dreyfuss in it called "The Lightkeepers".  

I was thinking how that Jesus told us to shine in our dark world.   Lighthouses do that.  And HE is the Lighthouse KEEPER!  That was as far as I got besides thinking about the duties of the keeper.  Then I got to work.  Here's what I've made so far.

This is my first one.  I did it last week and already gave it to a friend.  Ironically, the night I gave it to her, our pastor was teaching about being light to the world.  I had to laugh at the timing.

This one was done 2 days ago.  My sister-in-law gave me a Cricut machine and this was the first word I did on it.


Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Eye "candy"

Made some art last night.  My husband is out of town and I'm sick with a cold!  Stayed up until I was ready to pass out.  Here's what I got:




They're fuzzy 'cuz I was using my Blackberry phone.  But you get the idea.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

If we confess....

I'm on week 3 of the Soul Restoration class.  It's good.  But there's one element that's missing.  It's a rather big element, I think.  It's God.  So far, and I'm not very far in, it really talks about YOU and, well, you.  Last week was about God but really, not enough.  At least for me.

I thought, maybe I just need to feel the whole thing out.  But I'm really getting bummed out.  So yesterday, I just had to tell God how wonderful he was and just that sentence alone made me feel much better.  How much better?  WELL...Let's just say that I have crept into my old bad habits: too many movies, not eating well/not eating enough, and as every person does when they aren't proud of what they do, HIDE.

No, I am not perky all the time.  No, I'm not perfect.  I do have my down side and this is it.  (If I had chocolate in the house I'd be stuffing it in my face, but it's all gone.)  The worst part is the spiral downward.  One thought leads to another and....you know.  Shame. Guilt.  HIDING.

I am SO glad God gave me great revelation just before this hit.  It's something I can hold onto in the midst of the stuff I'm going through.  (It was the dept of Love the Father has toward his Son and vise versa.  So much so that they wanted to share it.  Then when the Father asked the Son to bear our sins, out of Love he said YES.  The Love is THAT deep.  It's not something we will understand, nor grasp.  Even when we get to heaven we still won't be able to fully grasp Love.  Why?  Because the only one who can fully grasp the meaning is the Bearer.  God is Love.  We are not.  But ANY dose he decides to give me, I'll take with open arms.  BECAUSE IT IS GOOD.  And we don't even know what GOOD means!  It means pure, with no strings attached.  Isn't that awesome?!?  We haven't met this standard!  We are ALL "indian givers" (No racism intended.  I'm just using the term.)

Here's the picture I did yesterday.  The only rights I have to it is the placement of things.  That's the only "art" I did.  So I guess you could call it a collage.  This is per my dad's request.