The latest

So, this image has been in my head for a couple of days and I just had to get it out.  I love it.  I think it's so soft and gentle.  I'm not sure where it's going but I think it's going to be one of my new favorites.

So, what do you think?

Looking forward to Christmas this year.  Loving the smells.  Gonna bake Christmas goodies with Grandma, buy decorations for the house, put up lights, and we are hosting the family Christmas Eve party.

Very festive.

On my to do list:

Work on the project in the garage (I'm thinking of turning the headboard I found a couple days ago into a bench.)

Paint the office yellow.

Re-design my parents' kitchen.  (They just moved last weekend into a fixer-upper.)

Today, in My Utmost for His Highest- written by Oswald Chambers in the early 1900's, I was reading about shallow things.  You know, eating, drinking, sleeping, talking, housework, homework, driving....  He said, "Even oceans (the deep) have shores (the shallow).


I can't help but think about my daughter.  She doesn't think before she talks.  It just all comes out.  I'm not saying that she bad-mouths people.  She just talks non-stop about everything and it's a long, run-on sentence.  I thought maybe she'd grow out of it, but she's 12 now and I'm beginning to think that this is going to stick around for a long while.


I would get so frustrated with her because I want to have conversations that are deep and meaningful while she wants to talk about the shapes of the clouds or how she's going to protect our animals from coyotes or other "off the top of her head" conversation.  I began to tune her out.  Now all I do is say "uh-huh" and keep doing what I'm doing and not listening at all.  That's just how it's progressed.


Today's devotional really hit me between the eyes because it's saying: 
"Beware of allowing yourself to think that the shallow concerns of life are not ordained of God; they are as much of God as the profound. It is not your devotion to God that makes you refuse to be shallow, but your wish to impress other people with the fact that you are not shallow, which is a sure sign that you are a spiritual prig. Be careful of the production of contempt in yourself, it always comes along this line, and causes you to go about as a walking rebuke to other people because they are more shallow than you are. Beware of posing as a profound person; God became a Baby."   


Ouch.  I asked God why I long for this "deepness".  He showed me when I was younger, before I was a teenager, I desired to be deeper because I thought my dad was deep and that the only way I'd get his attention was to be deep too.   I wanted to be proud of my wisdom.  And thus I have become.  BUT, I have contempt for others who are shallow.  And yet God became a baby.  He took the steps to come to the shallow and show them the profound, yet simple truth.  LOVE.  The real definition of LOVE.  not lust (which gratifies self).


I have given God that wound.  I want to be open to my shallow yet simple daughter.  I know there are others out there just like her.  I don't want to have contempt for people who won't (or rather can't) reach to my level.  It's totally ok.  BECAUSE  God told me that everyone has a different relationship with him.  We are not all the same.  Just like in a bouquet of flowers, you have the greenery, baby's breath, sunflowers and the lillies-just to name a few.  We are all part of a bouquet.  (I hope we smell delightful!)

Murmuration

This is absoulutely beautiful.  It's wonderful watching God's creation dance.

What stirs you?

Expanding

I just moved my art bookcase, 2 days ago, to the very unused family room.  I did it while my husband was at our church's men's retreat.  I knew I could do it on my own (sort of).  How hard could it be taking all the stuff out, dragginng it about 20 feet and reorganizing it?  I was feeling pretty good.

Now. Now, my back hurts.  I'm walking around all stiff.  I put heat on it this afternoon.  My family thinks I'm sick.  I smile.  Lovin' the love. :)  Then I tell them that it's my back and then I hear "You're old!"  Quickly, the love leaves the room.  (Tears)

Ah well, it can't be helped.  At least I'm getting a bigger art room out of it.

Still working on making it mine.  I haven't come up with any decoration 'ah-ha' moments.  But they will come.  They always do.  :)

It's time?

Years ago, before we moved into this house, God told me we were going to move and gave me the timeframe in which it was going to happen.  Two days later, my husband had a dream, a very detailed dream, about a house we were going to move into.  I had not told him about what God had told me.

Everything about his dream was correct.  The yard, the roof-line, even the stuff going on in the house at the time.

We have forgotten the dream.  It's not something we dwell on.  Although there has been 1 element that has not happened yet.  Until just now.

Two boys dressed in military garb have just come to the door and asked my husband if the girls could play with them.  Just like in his dream.  My husband's response in his dream over 6 years ago was, "I'm sorry, my girls can't play war games."  My husband's response today?  The same exact words.

Does this mean we are done in this house?  Are we moving on soon?  I don't know.  I am ready to leave.  But the memories here....I think every woman cries over the home she's created and then has to leave it.

When I think about it, I can honestly say I can totally move on.  I am willing to redecorate to my pleasure.  I am willing to accept the challenge of fun and exciting new things.  I am willing to find new friends.  I am not attached to friends here in my neighborhood.  (It seems like no one wants to reach out here anyway.  I've tried!)

Some part still mourns for the years I've been here and have to leave. But, at the same time, this has never felt like home.  When we are gone for more than a week, the first thought when I see this house is "This isn't mine."  Honestly, it isn't.  It's a tool.  It always has been.  I just hope that we added to it and that the next person to get this house will fall in love with whatever character we've put into this place as well as add their own.

God bless the next house owners.

Finished

I finished the old antique furnace.  Rustoleum spray paint works wonders.  

What do you think?

I also saw something we don't normally see out here.

Parrots! on the telephone lines near my house!  There's a grouping of them that's around 300 birds.  They don't all flock together.  Generally, they like to hang out in groups of 3-15.  Every year they add more to their numbers.  They are loud, and ugly sounding.  They also love to eat the fruit off our trees.  I don't mind it when they get the fruit on the top of our trees 'cuz we can't get to them.   I don't know how big their migration trail is, but when I talk about it to people around my area, most of them seem to know about the parrots.  Who knew southern California had it's own wild parrots?

Encouragement

I woke up this morning and just wanted to hide in bed.  Why?  I had to really ask myself.  I knew this old feeling.  It's similar to depression and it's best friend is self-pity.

I'm about to embark on a journey that I've sorta been on before-art business.

Two + years ago, I got involved in one of those businesses where you have to create your 'downline' and meet quotas.  It was stressful for me. My 'job' lasted a year and a half and I felt like a loser.  AND I used the family funds, thinking this would make money, and it didn't.  Thankfully, we were fine.

I'm just afraid it's gonna happen again.  I'm gonna stress out about all the things I have to do, things I have to know...

As I gave all this to God, I heard Him loud and clear, "you have to do this."  Peace came. He said it with the intent to help others, not for my benefit.  (Of course I benefit too:))

This is going to be hard because I'm walking out in courage in opposition to my fears.  (Big, scary world. Little tiny me.)

Way to go, Me!

Jesus, I need your help to battle the feelings of hiding/escaping thru sleeping, many hours of computer usage, rented/borrowed movies, etc.  Fill me with your love, peace, hope and joy to continue on to the calling you put in my heart: healing hearts thru art. Amen