a small vacation

we had our 14th anniversary this week.  my husband took me to dana point.

he then had to go to work in L.A. so i got to go with him.  it gave me time to work on some paintings.  i blogged, but didn't post any pictures.  here they are and again they look like kelly rae roberts.

i'm gonna make my own stuff soon, i promise!  i have a thought in mind.  i just gotta find time and the stuff to do it.

i sent one of my painting to Brave Girls Club.  they put it up!  here's the link.  i gotta say, i was jumping up and down with a big smile on my face!  i know it's a little thing, but it's also big.  i am a little person filling my space with what makes me happy.  i like it that way.  the hard part is asking myself "what do i want".  i've asked myself that question before.  but i don't have an answer.  i honestly don't know what i want.  i don't even know who i am.  i guess doing this art is showing me who i am.  CREATIVE.  i've "known" that.  but i haven't given myself the freedom to TRY stuff.  i WANT to be original.  but i don't know what that is.  so, here i am on a journey to ORIGINALNESS.  o boy.

i did find out something very disheartening.  TV takes away creativity.  i LOVE organizing tv shows and 'fix the house' stuff.  HGTV is so fun to watch.  but i find that in doing so, i lose touch with me and what's in me.  hmmmm.  i did not know this.  bummer.  i had to make a choice.  i spent half the day 'cleaning out' me just to un-bag all that wanted to put itself on to paper.  it was good to have it quiet.

big side note: i haven't had a tv in my house for 7 years now, maybe 8.  i'm loosing track.  it's a crutch for me.  if it's on, i'm glued.  it doesn't matter where i am.  it captures my attention.  so, because of the draw, my husband and i have agreed to be free of it.  we still watch movies (free from the library) on the computer and we still get the news online.  we are still attached to the world in that realm.  but we aren't bombarded by the sensual shows, "reality" tv and constant advertising telling me what i need.  (and we spend less!)  okay.  that's enough of a side note.